Thursday, February 19, 2009

Tester

Toss Bersama Preman

Suatu hari saya naik metromini menuju ke Roxy Mas. Di rel kereta, mobil kami dibajak oleh sejumlah preman, mereka berusaha untuk mengambil barang-barang berharga para penumpang.

Karena ketakutan saya berusaha untuk menyembunyikan handphone dan dompet ke bawah mobil tapi ketika saya coba tengok ke belakang, salah seorang preman itu tersenyum pada saya, maka terjadilah percakapan antara saya dengannya.

Preman : "Tenang Mbak, Mbak ga akan kita jambret deh."
Saya : "Benar yah Mas, saya ga akan dijambret."
Preman : "Ya pokoknya Mbak tenang aja deh."

Karena merasa kurang yakin, saya coba melihat preman yang di depan yang sedang mengancam penumpang lain dengan pisau. Tubuhnya yang penuh tato membuat saya takut. Saya merasa walau preman di belakang bilang tidak tapi kalo ia mengancam saya pasti saya kena.

Seakan mengerti kondisi saya, satu hal yang menakjubkan, preman yang seram ini menghampiri saya dan berkata, "Tenang Mbak, Mbak ga akan saya copet, Mbak ngga percaya sama saya? Kalo gitu kita toss dulu deh. Lalu saya pun toss dengan preman tersebut.

Sambil tersenyum saya berkata, "Terima kasih ya Mas, karena saya ga dicopet." Entah apa benar ucapan saya itu. Ketika turun hanya satu yang saya lakukan yaitu terbahak-bahak....

Punten Dipijat

Simatupang suatu ketika pergi ke Bandung untuk urusan dinas kantornya selama satu minggu. Saat Hari minggu dia berjalan-jalan untuk mencari panti pijet untuk melemaskan badannya yang pegal-pegal...

Sesampainya di panti pijat dia langsung memesan tukang pijat perempuan & langsung bergegas ke kamar untuk di pijat.

Pada saat dipijat, sang pramupijat (cewek) ini memijat Simatupang dari bagian atas badannya sampai ke kaki sambil bernyanyi untuk menghibur Simatupang.

Pramupijat : "Es lilin ma akang.... kalapa muda......(ketika sampai pada Anunya/burungnya, sang pramupijat mengucapkan )...Punteennnn..."

Kemudian lanjut nyanyi lagi : "Dipangungsi akang di elus-elus....Punten (melewati anunya Simatupang lagi)..."

Terus begitu nyanyian yang di nyanyikan oleg pramupijat ini. Lama kelamaan Simatupang jengkel juga, lalu membentak sang pemijat.

Simatupang : "Dari Tadi yang kau pijat Es Lilin terus....Punten itu kau Pijat...."

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Global Warming

New Barney Song

I love you...

You love Me..

Let's go all and kill Barney..

With a shotgun bang bang...

Barney's on the floor...

No more faggot Dinosaur....

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Too Old To Drive...

- You think an SUV might be too small to be safe.
 
- It takes more than four minutes to get out of your car.
 
- When backing into a parking spot, you just back up until 
you hear something.
 
- It scares you to drive the speed limit.
 
- The only thing you pass on the road anymore is the Amish.
 
- You use cruise control because your leg fell asleep.
 
- You use cruise control at 25 mph.
 
- You inquired if the dealership could install magnifying 
glass for the windshield.
 
- Your turn signal has been on since 2003.
 
- Your bumper sticker endorses Eisenhower.
 
- from Laugh & Lift
 John went to visit his old grandfather in a secluded area of
Georgia. After 
chatting all night John's grandfather made a
breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. 
However, John noticed a film on
his plate, and questioned his grandfather, "Are 
these plates clean?"
       
His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get
them. Just 
finish your meal!"
       For lunch John worried that the plates had dried egg and
asked, "Are you 
sure these plates are clean?"
       The old man said, "I told you those dishes are as clean as cold
water can 
get them. Now I don't want to hear any more about it!"
       Later that afternoon, as John was leaving, his grandfather's
dog started to 
growl, not letting him pass. John yelled,
"Grandfather, your dog won't let me get 
to my car."
       The old man shouted, "Coldwater, go lie down!"

 one day santa went to hospital for blood test.

there the nurse made a cut to his finger and took the blood for the test.

then santa thought to himself, "my god !! i didn't go for urine test "

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