2009

Rare Photos

Road Kill, also known as "not my job"

Tester

Toss Bersama Preman

Suatu hari saya naik metromini menuju ke Roxy Mas. Di rel kereta, mobil kami dibajak oleh sejumlah preman, mereka berusaha untuk mengambil barang-barang berharga para penumpang.

Karena ketakutan saya berusaha untuk menyembunyikan handphone dan dompet ke bawah mobil tapi ketika saya coba tengok ke belakang, salah seorang preman itu tersenyum pada saya, maka terjadilah percakapan antara saya dengannya.

Preman : "Tenang Mbak, Mbak ga akan kita jambret deh."
Saya : "Benar yah Mas, saya ga akan dijambret."
Preman : "Ya pokoknya Mbak tenang aja deh."

Karena merasa kurang yakin, saya coba melihat preman yang di depan yang sedang mengancam penumpang lain dengan pisau. Tubuhnya yang penuh tato membuat saya takut. Saya merasa walau preman di belakang bilang tidak tapi kalo ia mengancam saya pasti saya kena.

Seakan mengerti kondisi saya, satu hal yang menakjubkan, preman yang seram ini menghampiri saya dan berkata, "Tenang Mbak, Mbak ga akan saya copet, Mbak ngga percaya sama saya? Kalo gitu kita toss dulu deh. Lalu saya pun toss dengan preman tersebut.

Sambil tersenyum saya berkata, "Terima kasih ya Mas, karena saya ga dicopet." Entah apa benar ucapan saya itu. Ketika turun hanya satu yang saya lakukan yaitu terbahak-bahak....

Punten Dipijat

Simatupang suatu ketika pergi ke Bandung untuk urusan dinas kantornya selama satu minggu. Saat Hari minggu dia berjalan-jalan untuk mencari panti pijet untuk melemaskan badannya yang pegal-pegal...

Sesampainya di panti pijat dia langsung memesan tukang pijat perempuan & langsung bergegas ke kamar untuk di pijat.

Pada saat dipijat, sang pramupijat (cewek) ini memijat Simatupang dari bagian atas badannya sampai ke kaki sambil bernyanyi untuk menghibur Simatupang.

Pramupijat : "Es lilin ma akang.... kalapa muda......(ketika sampai pada Anunya/burungnya, sang pramupijat mengucapkan )...Punteennnn..."

Kemudian lanjut nyanyi lagi : "Dipangungsi akang di elus-elus....Punten (melewati anunya Simatupang lagi)..."

Terus begitu nyanyian yang di nyanyikan oleg pramupijat ini. Lama kelamaan Simatupang jengkel juga, lalu membentak sang pemijat.

Simatupang : "Dari Tadi yang kau pijat Es Lilin terus....Punten itu kau Pijat...."

Shock

Global Warming

New Barney Song

I love you...

You love Me..

Let's go all and kill Barney..

With a shotgun bang bang...

Barney's on the floor...

No more faggot Dinosaur....

Too Old To Drive...

- You think an SUV might be too small to be safe.
 
- It takes more than four minutes to get out of your car.
 
- When backing into a parking spot, you just back up until 
you hear something.
 
- It scares you to drive the speed limit.
 
- The only thing you pass on the road anymore is the Amish.
 
- You use cruise control because your leg fell asleep.
 
- You use cruise control at 25 mph.
 
- You inquired if the dealership could install magnifying 
glass for the windshield.
 
- Your turn signal has been on since 2003.
 
- Your bumper sticker endorses Eisenhower.
 
- from Laugh & Lift

 John went to visit his old grandfather in a secluded area of
Georgia. After chatting all night John's grandfather made a
breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film on
his plate, and questioned his grandfather, "Are these plates clean?"
       His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get
them. Just finish your meal!"
       For lunch John worried that the plates had dried egg and
asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
       The old man said, "I told you those dishes are as clean as cold
water can get them. Now I don't want to hear any more about it!"
       Later that afternoon, as John was leaving, his grandfather's
dog started to growl, not letting him pass. John yelled,
"Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car."
       The old man shouted, "Coldwater, go lie down!"

 one day santa went to hospital for blood test.

there the nurse made a cut to his finger and took the blood for the test.

then santa thought to himself, "my god !! i didn't go for urine test "

hair modern trend in 2009 ..!

Anger management?

Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'

Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'

Husband: 'How does that help?'

Wife: 'I use your toothbrush.'

Meaning of WIFE

Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information & Fighting Everytime'!'

Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

Brother wanted

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'...

Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'.....

Losing all your friends

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed .

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'

If falling from the aircraft

Three women is in the trip rose the aircraft terbang. half of the hour after going up, the pilot announc the existence of the disturbance and the passengers are ask to prepare because the aircraft will land the emergency, the first woman immediately us all of his jewellery, starting from when the necklace, the bracelet, the ring and ear studs, with the view did not understand the two other women ask whether the intention from his action. "By using all this jewellery everyone will know if I is rich, so they will help I more previously, " he replied, the second woman immediately took off the blouse and bra him, when that is other asked, he answered, "when the rescue team came, they immediately will see how sexy is my chest and I will be help more previously. "The "third woman that by chance skinn very black took off outside trousers and the depth, afterwards he says, usually people will look for the black box more previously. " xp

Evidently teletubbies a woman

The professor and the fisherman

A professor yg very clever at going on holiday in a village, at that time he met with a fisherman yg by chance want to fish.
When the fisherman is preparing his fish hook implement, the professor saw his fish hook implement evidently only a bamboo without the implement roll to hoist the fishing line, finally the professor said: oh Sir the fisherman, you did not yet know technology yg his name roll utk kerekan in the fish hook ok?If like this you neglect 14 times from your life uptil now, the quiet fisherman then.
Afterwards after preparing the fish hook implement, the fisherman began to rise to the small size boat and is follow by the professor in the boat, when the fisherman began rowed, the professor said again: oh Sir the fisherman, you still rowed?You did not yet know technology yg his name the motor machine?By that you must not be tir of rowing and being faster so as to save your time, if like this you neglect 12 times from your life uptil now, the quiet fisherman also.
After until in the middle of the lake, suddenly the boat of the fisherman leak and want to sink, finally the fisherman ask the professor of the leap and swam ketepi, but evidently the professor could not swim, finally the fisherman said :wah Professor, cook you did not know the method swam?Oh if just as you neglect all time from your life here. ^^